Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience. (Samuel Johnson)
I won't promise to love you forever; I take promises seriously. (Amanda P.)
I think, therefore I'm single. (Liz Winston)
If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married. (Katharine Hepburn)
I don't believe in marriage. It's bloody impractical. 'To love, honor, and obey.' If it weren't, you wouldn't have to sign a contract. (Katharine Hepburn)
I love being married. It's so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. (Rita Rudner)
Marriage is the death of hope. (Woody Allen, A Midsummer Night's Sex Comedy)
Sex alleviates tension. Marriage causes it. (Woody Allen, A Midsummer Night's Sex Comedy)
More Woody, more about sex rather than marriage but still I like them a lot:
I'm tired of making love to a woman I feel inferior to. (Woody Allen, Interiors)
Sex without love is an empty experience.
Yes, but as empty experiences go, it's one of the best. (Woody Allen, Love and Death)
You are the greatest lover I have ever had.
Well, I practice a lot when I'm alone. (Woody Allen, Love and Death)
To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore to love is to suffer, not to love is to suffer. To suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy then is to suffer. But suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness. I hope you're getting this down. (Woody Allen, Love and Death)
Empty sex is better than no sex at all, right? (Woody Allen, Stardust Memories)
Intelligence is the ultimate aphrodisiac. (No idea who said that but it is ingenious.)
Sex between the a man and a woman can be wonderful, provided you get in between the right man and the right woman. (Also have no idea who said that, but it is my personal favorite.)
Conscience is what hurts when everything else feels so good.
Promiscuous: Someone who gets more sex than you.
Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another. (H.L. Mencken)
A man on a date wonders if he'll get lucky. The woman already knows. (Monica Piper)
It is better to be unfaithful than to be faithful without wanting to be. (Brigitte Bardot; I felt in love with Bardot when I read an interview with her in which asked what the best day in her life was she answered: It was a night...)
Another quiz: a bottle of wine for the person that finds optimistic (and preferably funny) quote about marriage.